pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Randomize