what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
