I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
