Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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