I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
