life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
