I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
