i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
