We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Do you remember whose house we're in?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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