Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
