Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
