So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
