My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
vagina is talking i cant
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Randomize
