if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
It's blow job season.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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