i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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