And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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