Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
