In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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