Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize