Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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