he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
These tits shall not be calmed
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
