she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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