You made me cry and you don't even care
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
