batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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