I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
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