Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
