I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize