you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
