Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
