I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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