dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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