i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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