You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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