I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
