this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
