I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
this will be a night to untag.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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