So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
