Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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