I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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