Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Randomize