Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Randomize
