I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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