she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
