That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Randomize