i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
