we made out on top of his cat.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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