that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I just want nice things and good sex
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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