Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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