I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
