the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
