Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
