I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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