I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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