it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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