plz talk dirty to me
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
