it hurts more in the daytime
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
