I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
