Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize