Did you just see the Batmobile???
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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