What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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