I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Panties = found
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
