I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
