you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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