you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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