she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Pooping to opera.
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